Sunday, April 3, 2011

I'll Tell On You


Jumper, H&M
Leggings, Primark

First up, a weekend outfit. A weekend spent working towards the last exam of the semester before finals, and the last exam before Easter break. I could not be happier to be heading home for 3 weeks.

I think there are 2 distinct camps when it comes to leggings, the "Leggings are NOT trousers" camp and the "Leggings, great spring alternatives" camp. I've always fallen into the former, I feel overexposed, almost naked without something over the top of my leggings and because I often buy cheaper Primark leggings, they frequently wear through or bobble quickly. However, pulling on this jumper this morning, I didn't really feel like pulling jeans on, nor did I feel a desperate urge to wear a skirt with tights.

Now, the lighthearted things done, a question for you. What constitutes bullying?

As a child, I moved from the South East of England to the North West of England. I went from a mid-sized community primary school, a place I had friends and was getting on well despite having had academic setbacks due to eyesight problems, to a tiny rural primary school, where I stood out a mile as someone who had a different accent, didn't know anybody and didn't fit in. The next 4 years of bullying ranged from persistent name calling, and nasty mind games to pinching, kicking and being purposefully tripped or pushed over. School was miserable, I often felt lonely, and I didn't really know what to do about it.

My primary school experiences left me with difficulties making friends through secondary school, and changed the way I viewed people as a whole, but moving on to university, I felt sure that I had left behind the nasty name calling, horrid little mind games and those who take pleasure and amusement in others' misery. Bullying was something I thought of as belonging in school playgrounds or amongst teenage girls who know no better. Because after all, as a 21 year old woman, living with partial independence and preparing to make my way in the world of work, you can't really tell the teacher.

So here I am, 21 years of age, living with 8 others in halls of residence. on a daily basis my neighbours either side of me- people I once upon a time I called friends, purposefully slam doors because they know I can feel it through the walls and the floor, and find it disruptive when trying to sleep. They have loud conversations outside my door in the corridors in the early hours of the morning, turn the television to a volume at which I can tell which film they're watching or tv program they're following. On a regular basis, furniture is moved around in the early hours of the morning and when friends of theirs are here, I am able to hear them bitching about me, about friends of mine and a good number of other things. And all of this is interspersed with laughter should anyone mention that it might disturb people or be unfair to anybody living in the vicinity.

Where does one go, as an adult to put a stop to this? Slamming doors or turning up the television is not something that can be reported to campus security and it's not a crime to talk about others or move furniture around. But it was recently raised, after a particularly difficult day and night, that the nature of these actions, is in fact bullying. Nasty, unfair and childish mind games designed purely to make a person unhappy and give amusement to those who obviously have no sense of humanity or decency. But my question to you, is what do you think constitutes bullying? Do you agree that my situation could be considered bullying? Have you been in a similar situation yourself?

Now, lastly I have to say a Happy Mothers Day to my fabulous mum. I love her more than anything I can say or show here and I can't wait to see her next week. My dad also celebrates his birthday today, so Happy Birthday dad. My dad is a very special man and as one of my friends recently said "he's pretty awesome really, isn't he". Yes, yes he is.


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