Sunday, April 3, 2011

I'll Tell On You

Jumper, H&M
Leggings, Primark

First up, a weekend outfit. A weekend spent working towards the last exam of the semester before finals, and the last exam before Easter break. I could not be happier to be heading home for 3 weeks.

I think there are 2 distinct camps when it comes to leggings, the "Leggings are NOT trousers" camp and the "Leggings, great spring alternatives" camp. I've always fallen into the former, I feel overexposed, almost naked without something over the top of my leggings and because I often buy cheaper Primark leggings, they frequently wear through or bobble quickly. However, pulling on this jumper this morning, I didn't really feel like pulling jeans on, nor did I feel a desperate urge to wear a skirt with tights.

Now, the lighthearted things done, a question for you. What constitutes bullying?

As a child, I moved from the South East of England to the North West of England. I went from a mid-sized community primary school, a place I had friends and was getting on well despite having had academic setbacks due to eyesight problems, to a tiny rural primary school, where I stood out a mile as someone who had a different accent, didn't know anybody and didn't fit in. The next 4 years of bullying ranged from persistent name calling, and nasty mind games to pinching, kicking and being purposefully tripped or pushed over. School was miserable, I often felt lonely, and I didn't really know what to do about it.

My primary school experiences left me with difficulties making friends through secondary school, and changed the way I viewed people as a whole, but moving on to university, I felt sure that I had left behind the nasty name calling, horrid little mind games and those who take pleasure and amusement in others' misery. Bullying was something I thought of as belonging in school playgrounds or amongst teenage girls who know no better. Because after all, as a 21 year old woman, living with partial independence and preparing to make my way in the world of work, you can't really tell the teacher.

So here I am, 21 years of age, living with 8 others in halls of residence. on a daily basis my neighbours either side of me- people I once upon a time I called friends, purposefully slam doors because they know I can feel it through the walls and the floor, and find it disruptive when trying to sleep. They have loud conversations outside my door in the corridors in the early hours of the morning, turn the television to a volume at which I can tell which film they're watching or tv program they're following. On a regular basis, furniture is moved around in the early hours of the morning and when friends of theirs are here, I am able to hear them bitching about me, about friends of mine and a good number of other things. And all of this is interspersed with laughter should anyone mention that it might disturb people or be unfair to anybody living in the vicinity.

Where does one go, as an adult to put a stop to this? Slamming doors or turning up the television is not something that can be reported to campus security and it's not a crime to talk about others or move furniture around. But it was recently raised, after a particularly difficult day and night, that the nature of these actions, is in fact bullying. Nasty, unfair and childish mind games designed purely to make a person unhappy and give amusement to those who obviously have no sense of humanity or decency. But my question to you, is what do you think constitutes bullying? Do you agree that my situation could be considered bullying? Have you been in a similar situation yourself?

Now, lastly I have to say a Happy Mothers Day to my fabulous mum. I love her more than anything I can say or show here and I can't wait to see her next week. My dad also celebrates his birthday today, so Happy Birthday dad. My dad is a very special man and as one of my friends recently said "he's pretty awesome really, isn't he". Yes, yes he is.



Hanna said...

lovely outfit! that jumper is really awesome! and you have really pretty hair!

Unknown said...

Did the person above even read this post? Uuuugh. Sorry, stuff like that just annoys me! :(

Anyways, onto the serious stuff. I think what you've described above is just plain horrible. But d'you know what - the people who are doing it are just plain fucking nasty. Horrible people, who will never go anywhere in life because they will be too busy spending their time trying to bring other people down. I was bullied by my BEST friend. Yes thats right, best friend in primary school, and then onto the first 3 years of high school. I never realised how much of a bully she was, until I wasn't friends with her anymore. Getting a boyfriend for the first time gave me the strength to back away from her. And it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I'm not saying that 'running away' is the answer, but sometimes removing yourself from the situation will work better than trying to confront them (like haters online, dont even aknowledge them and they tend to fizzle away) People like that will never let you win, they'll always think they are right. Or maybe, the fact that you used to call them friends, you could confront them calmly and seriously. I think if they have an ounce of decency left in them, it will embarass the hell out of them and they will stop? I dunno missus, its a tough one :( Just keep on talking to whoever you can about it though, talking it out helps and you may find someone who was in the exact same situation to you.

I'm sorry this hasnt helped much lol, I really hope youre okay! :( xx

Michelle / Daisybutter said...

Hope your exams go well Chloe! I really like wearing leggings, I don't like Primark ones anymore, but New Look's are really good quality for the price and are quite thick so you don't feel overexposed!

I was in a similar situation to you last year in halls, constant, loud bitching so I'd overhear, and deliberately putting me in awkward situations. I had the same through secondary school too, so I've learnt to handle it all and tune it out. If you're in halls, perhaps speak to the residence manager, which is what I did last year (: Hope you're okay lovely, always an email away if you need a chitchat. xx

Bee. said...

Dear lord, I think that definitely consistutes as bullying. It really bloody angers me to think that there are complete dickheads like that in the world that strive to make people unhappy. If I were you, I'd speak to the wardens or whatever about what you're going through. I'm sure they will be able to help. You really don't deserve it sweetie!

Kamila said...

lovely outfit!!!

xoxo kami

Caramella said...

You look very pretty!Sorry to hear about those jerks it sounds like the have nothing to do in life..they're not worth it and you should just keep doing your thing

Fashion Bandit said...

Hey lady, sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time, that is awful. I too struggled with bullies, all the way through school. At uni I found more, but also so good friends. I agree with Alden, sometimes the best thing is to remove yourself from the situation. Have you got different people to live with next year? Perhaps staying with some friends for a bit would help give you a break. If you think one of the offending party have a 'better side' you can appeal to, it might be good to get them on them own and try. Or if you have any mutual friends ask them to speak to the group? I hope you het it sorted either way. Xxx

Charlotte Sparkle said...

Lovely outfit.