Sunday, March 25, 2012

Keeping It Real

One way or another this week, it's been a hectic one, and I for one, am quite glad to see the weekend. But a number of things this week have really made me take stock of my life. Chloe Likes To Talk in its current guise is coming up for a year old and I've been blogging in various ways for over 2 years now, making it that much easier to make the compare.


It's a bit scary to think this time 2 years ago I was living in my 3rd country in 18 months. Spain seems like a lifetime ago, and in reality it is. I was living in my 3rd foreign country and attending my 4th university in 2 years. I was ready to come home and to get my degree finished. I was coming up for my 21st birthday, I was very single and after the breakdown on some of my friendships, lonely.

Las Fallas 2010, Calle Mistral, Valencia 
(My flat was the ground floor of the green and whit building in the background to the left of the shot)


If you've been following for a while you'll know that Chloe Likes To Talk in the format it is now in came into existence almost a year ago, but I was blogging consistently as Fashion Junkie before that. This time last year my blog was my only real outlet.

Being a final year student is tough. Being a final year student of a triple major degree is tough too. Doing that whilst living with people who think bullying is acceptable practice, with no concrete direction on where my life would be heading after my degree and suffering with an undiagnosed illness that required regular 10 hour round trips home for medical treatments or tests. In short I was miserable and that's not a massive change from 12 months previously.

Me, this time last year. About 5KG lighter, unhappy, and uncertain.  

So this week, I set about thinking what's changed this year. It's been a funny week.


I'm now a post-grad student. A highly unexpected turn of events, but what's more is that I'm good at what I'm doing in a way I wasn't with my degree. I enjoy the challenge that law presents and I feel like I've found something that fits.

I've made friends. I've met people on my course who act like civil human beings and have the added benefit of being particularly nice, who work just as hard, if not harder, people who I like spending time with and who appreciate the person that I am. I've also been privileged to get to know better and even meet some of the people I speak regularly to thanks to my blog.

I'm living at home with my parents. For many people of my age, having graduated from uni, this is a step back, for me this has been a blessing. It's given me the time and space I needed to put myself back together with the support of my family, and has the added bonus of seeing me fed far better than if I were living alone....

But most of all. I'm happy. Don't get me wrong. I have crappy days, days where I hate my lecturer for his inability to put any structure to our programme or days where I wonder why I didn't just take a job, any job for a couple of years, but most of the time I know, I made the right decision, I know that I'm working towards something that is right to me, I know that I have people around me who will not make me feel that I'm not capable or worthy of success and happiness. I also know that Having had the chance to work towards this feeling of content, I'm all the stronger to face difficulties that might come my way.

I firmly believe that understanding your past and your weaknesses is key to creating a future and facing the world and everything it has to throw at you. Whilst the last 2 years might not be ones I look at as my favourites, I know that they have taught me far more about my strengths, my weaknesses and what I want from life than if they had been a walk in the park, and that ability to reflect comes, in part, from my blog, and being able to look back on the last 2 years.

I'd never wish hard times on anyone and I also know that my difficulties could be considered trivial by comparison to many others, but my message would be this:

There's always something to learn and always a way to use your experiences. No matter their nature. Understanding how will serve you well and give you some of the tools to make negatives into positives.

Me, a couple of weeks ago. Happy, healthy(ish), setlled, sorted and heading towards successful .



Maria Fallon said...

I love you! I'm glad you have managed to find your feet and you are definitely an inspiration for me!

Maria xxx

Chloe said...

I love you too! Thank you querida mia, You don't need me for inspiration though, you just need to look in the mirror!

Elise said...

I love this, glad youre much happier and settled now.  Not sure I'd like to look back at the past 2 years, feels like not much has changed over here... :)